DISCLAIMER
I HAVE POSTED THIS PAGE AGAIN ONLY TO DEFEAT ANY ATTEMPTS TO PERVERT OR TWIST THE CIRCUMSTANCES SURROUNDING MY REVERSION TO ISLAM. I STILL BELIEVE THAT SHAYKH MUHAMMAD SHAFI WAS COMPLETELY CORRECT IN WRITING IN MA'ARIFUL QUR'AN THAT THE INSPIRATION I HAD ABOUT THE QUR'AN IN 1977 CANNOT BE USED TO PROPAGATE THE RELIGION. JUST FOR THE RECORD, I EMBRACED ISLAM IN 1983 AS A SUNNI MUSLIM WHO FOLLOWS THE HANAFI SCHOOL.
MY REVERSION TO ISLAM - IN DEPTH
THE PAGES APPEARING BELOW WERE POSTED ON QURAN-E-HAKIM.NET UP UNTIL EARLY 2026. HOWEVER, I TOOK THEM DOWN BECAUSE I FEARED THAT MY INTENTIONS MIGHT BE MISUNDERSTOOD.
THE PROBLEM REVOLVES AROUND THE FACT THAT I HAD A DREAM IN ABOUT 1968 AND AN 'INSPIRATION' ABOUT THE QUR’AN IN 1977.
THE ISSUE IS THAT ACCORDING TO SHAYKH MUFTI MUHAMMAD SHAFI (RAHMATULLAH
ALAYHI - MAY THE MERCY OF ALLAH BE UPON HIM) SUCH ‘INSPIRATIONS’ OR ‘REVELATIONS’ CANNOT BE USED TO PROPAGATE THE RELIGION.
HE HAS NOTED THIS IN HIS TAFSEER, MA’ARIFUL QUR’AN. HIS COMMENTS APPEAR IN THE ENGLISH TRANSLATION OF HIS TAFSEER IN VOLUME SIX ON PAGES 94-95.
THE REMARKS FORM PART OF HIS COMMENTARY ON SURAH TAHA.
FOR YEARS I HAD ADHERED TO THE SHAYKH’S RULING ON THE MATTER, EXCEPT THAT I HAD MADE THE MATTER PUBLIC, WHICH ACCORDING TO HIS COMMENTS I SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE.
IN HIS TAFSEER HE WROTE:
“THESE INSPIRATIONS (ILHAM . . .) HOWEVER, ARE SPECIFIC TO THE PERSON TO WHOM THEY ARE MADE AND ARE NOT MEANT FOR [ED: TO BE MADE] PUBLIC OR TO BE USED FOR THE PROPAGATION OF THE TRUE FAITH . . ."
EVEN THOUGH I HAVE DECIDED TO RESTORE THE PAGES, I MUST STRESS THAT I BELIEVE THE SHAYKH IS COMPLETELY CORRECT IN SAYING THAT THEY CANNOT BE USED FOR THE PROPAGATION OF ISLAM.
EVEN THOUGH HE DOES NOT SAY WHY, I BELIEVE IT IS BECAUSE THE PROPHET MUHAMMED, MAY ALLAH’S PEACE AND BLESSINGS BE UPON HIM, IS THE LAST OF THE PROPHETS AND THE USE OF REVELATIONS FROM ALLAH SUBHANAHU WA TA’ALA TO PREACH ISLAM ENDED WITH HIM.
I FEAR THAT IF I WAS TO TRY TO USE THE ‘INSPIRATIONS’ ALLAH SUBHANAHU WA TA’ALA HAS BLESSED ME WITH I WOULD BE GUILTY OF DISBELIEF – I WOULD BE GOING AGAINST THE TEACHINGS OF ISLAM.
I ALSO BELIEVE THAT THE SHAYKH WAS CORRECT IN SAYING THAT SUCH INSPIRATIONS SHOULD NOT BE MADE PUBLIC, BUT UNFORTUNATELY I HAVE MADE MY ‘INSPIRATIONS’ FROM ALLAH PUBLIC MANY TIMES OVER THE YEARS SO IT’S A BIT LATE TO GO BACK ON IT NOW.
MY MAIN CONCERN RECENTLY HAS BEEN THAT I DID NOT WANT PEOPLE TO THINK I HAD LIED ABOUT THE DREAM AND THE WAHY ABOUT THE QUR’AN SO I HAVE DECIDED TO RESTORE THE PAGES. I ALSO DID NOT WANT ANYONE SPREADING FALSE RUMOURS ABOUT MY REVERSION, WHICH I BELIEVE HAS HAPPENED ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS.
THE PAGE HEADED ‘MY REVERSION TO ISLAM - IN DEPTH’ WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON QURAN-E-HAKIM.COM .
FOR A LONG TIME, I HAD BEEN PLANNING TO REBUILD THE WEBSITE USING A PROGRAM CALLED WORDPRESS. I TOOK THE SITE DOWN ON ABOUT THE 20TH OF AUGUST 2024, BUT I FACED FAR MORE DIFFICULTIES THAN I EXPECTED IN TRYING TO REBUILD IT WITH WORDPRESS.
PREVIOUSLY I HAD BEEN USING A DIY WEBSITE BUILDER PROGRAM SUPPLIED BY THE SITE'S HOST, WEBCENTRAL.
MY REVERSION TO ISLAM - IN DEPTH
My name is Ian Charles Calderwood. I was born in Newcastle, New South Wales, Australia, at the Mater Hospital on the 11th of January 1946, but was raised in Melbourne.
My father had worked in administration at Broken Hill Proprietary Company Limited (BHP) in Newcastle as part of essential services during World War Two. However, he was an ambitious man and after the war moved us all to Melbourne in 1949 because he believed he had more chance of success there working as an accountant.
Dad became affluent in Melbourne and I attended Camberwell Grammar for most of my school years. Later, I worked mainly as a journalist, initially starting as a freelance in 1968 and working as a taxi driver to supplement my income.
I reverted to Islam as a Sunni Muslim who follows the Hanafi Madhhab (School) in Melbourne in 1983. And this is my story - or some of it - of why I became a Muslim. (Please note that there is more than one transliteration of the word Madhhab - 'Mazhab' is also common.)
Appearing below are details about my reversion. In a nutshell I did so because I don't believe in the Trinity and I had a dream in about 1968 and a 'wahy' - a revelation from Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High) - about the Holy Qur'an in 1977.
I took this page down in April 2024 because I was planning a rewrite. One of the brothers at a masjid in Lakemba, Sydney, had expressed concern that my use of the word 'wahy' might be misunderstood so I decided to review the text and rewrite it to ensure there could be no misunderstandings and hence no 'fitnah'.
GLOSSARY OF ISLAMIC TERMS
The latter is defined in the Glossary of Islamic Terms published by Darussalam at the back of the final volume of its many sets of Ahadith as “. . . civil strife, war and riots . . .” I would like to add that it is an excellent glossary. I would recommend it to anyone. An invaluable guide for reverts like myself to the best way to transliterate Arabic words.
Please note that technically the word Ahadith is the plural for Hadith, which means a tradition ascribed to the Prophet Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), but in English it is common practice to use the word Hadith as both a singular and a plural.
In essence, Sunni Muslims practise Islam in accordance with the teachings of the Holy Qur'an and the Ahadith, but because most Muslims are not qualified to make their own judgements about such matters, they rely on the guidance of Shaykhs from one of the four recognised schools of Islam to guide them.
I set up a 'Glossary of Islamic Terms' on quran-e-hakim.com (which I have now posted on quran-e-hakim.net ) based on the one at the back of Volume 7 of Sahih Muslim published by Darussalam, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. It is the First Edition printed in August 2007.
I have asked Darussalam for permission to publish from their works, but they haven't replied. Normally in the English-speaking world, publishers are asked for permission by authors who wish to quote extensively from their works. Insha-Allah, I will contact Darussalam again and seek their consent to cite their work.
In my glossary, Darussalam's definitions are quoted verbatim, except that I have erased the Arabic text. It is not displaying properly on Webcentral's DIY Sitebuilder program. In one instance, the entry for Tawhid, I have paragraphed the entry and made minor changes that do not affect the meaning.
I have made mention above of the word 'wahy' and at this stage I just want to say that it means a revelation - or inspiration if you like – from Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High) . In my case it was confirmation from Him that the Qur’an was authentic – His Word. I expand upon the use of the word below.
See my page headed WAHY - INSPIRATIONS FROM ALLAH , a commentary by Shaykh Mufti Muhammad Shafi in his Tafseer Ma'ariful Quran - Volume 6 of the English translation, pages 94-95.
COMMENTARY BY SHAYKH MUFTI MUHAMMAD SHAFI.
I have quoted below verbatim from a commentary by Shaykh Mufti Muhammad Shafi, (Rahmatullah alayhi - May the mercy of Allah be upon him) on the use of the word ‘wahy’ that appears in his commentary on Surah Ta-Ha, pages 94 and 95 of Volume 6 of the English translation of his tafseer Ma’ariful Qur’an.
Shaykh Mufti Muhammad Shafi was a leading Islamic theologian who was born in Deoband, India, in 1897. He graduated in 1917 from Darul Uloom Deoband and later taught there. After independence he moved to Pakistan and established Darul Uloom Karachi. For more details see Wikipedia. The link is Mufti Muhammad Shafi.
I want to stress that I am using the word ‘wahy’ in connection with a revelation I had from Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High) in the secondary sense – or the literal sense as Shaykh Mufti Muhammad Shafi calls it - that can be broadly used with all His creatures whom He blesses with an inspiration.
It is not being used in the sense that it is used in connection with the Prophet Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) who received Divine revelations from Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High) so he could preach Islam to the people.
‘Wahy’, in the sense that it is used with the Prophet Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) ended with him. The Prophet Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is the last of the Prophets – the last of the Messengers. There will never be another Prophet, another Messenger, after him.
Unless Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High) forgives them, anybody who claims to the contrary is a liar and is not a Muslim, and they are at risk of eternal condemnation to Jahannam (Hell). They are outside the pale of Islam and have rejected Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) and His beloved Prophet Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) .
I am not a prophet – not one of Allah’s (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) messengers – and have never believed I was. I want to take this opportunity to thank the brother who kindly pointed out the dangers with using the word ‘wahy’ and emphasized that it could be misunderstood by people who did not realise that the word could be used in different ways. May Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) bless him and his family with all the best in this life and the next for his sincerity and understanding.
Please note that I have included in the Glossary of Islamic Terms Darussalam's definition of the word 'wahy'. Even though I believe that definition is correct I believe it is not complete in that it makes no mention of the secondary - or literal - meaning of the word as is set out in the Tafseer Ma'ariful Qur'an by Shaykh Mufti Muhammad Shafi.
A DREAM FROM ALLAH
In about 1968 – I cannot be certain of the year now because at the time I did not place any great weight upon the matter – I had a dream in which I saw the word EL, two large block letters made out of stone, blazing fiercely in the sky. The stone was grey, like granite.
The dream was so vivid, so confronting, that I awoke with a start. My mother had come to stay with me – I was renting a flat in St. Kilda Road, Melbourne - so I rushed into her room and woke her.
I cannot remember my exact words but in effect I asked her ‘what does EL mean?’ Sleepily she replied that she didn’t know.
I swear by Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) that I had the dream and that I have faithfully reported it to the best of my recollection. At the time I associated the dream with God. My heart kept saying ‘it’s God’ but my head couldn’t handle that and instead of pursuing the dream and turning back to Him I ignored it.
I believe that rejection was my final undoing and as the years came to pass in the 1970s, I found myself beset with problems that began to spiral out of control. There are verses in the Holy Qur’an in which Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) warns against ignoring his Signs. If you do, you do so at your own peril.
By ignoring the dream I had done just that. I won’t elaborate on the years that followed the dream except to say that my problems escalated and eventually in the mid-1970s I found myself in despair. I then recalled my youth – my belief in God – and realised I needed Him now more than ever before.
El - A WORD FOR GOD IN THE ANCIENT WORLD
Before moving on I want to mention that one thing that has struck me over the years is that some people might have thought that because the dream was in the name of God known to the ancients - EL - that I might have been promoting Judaism.
After all it is the word for God in the Hebrew language and this can be seen in the names of some of the Prophets (alayhim as-salam -
may the peace of Allah be upon them) mentioned in the Old Testament.
For example, Ezekiel (alayhi as-salam –
may the peace of Allah be upon him) means 'God will strengthen; Daniel (alayhi as-salam – may the peace of Allah be upon him) means 'God will judge'; Samuel (alayhi as-salam – may the peace of Allah be upon him) means 'God has heard'; and Elijah (alayhi as-salam – may the peace of Allah be upon him) means 'the Lord is my God'.
But, even though EL was the word for God in Hebrew it was also known widely throughout the Ancient world as the name for the 'Supreme God'. According to the Wikipedia article about EL (Deity) "El is often described as the father of the gods and the creator of humanity". The link to the article is WIKIPEDIA EL (DEITY) .
As well as looking at how different nations viewed EL the article also examines the etymology of the word and readers can see it was not exclusively an Hebrew word, but one with its origins in the Proto-Semitic family of languages.
The difference between the Israelites and many other nations was that the former were monotheists while other nations cited EL as the supreme god in a pantheon of gods - something that constitutes disbelief.
I think Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) used the word EL in the dream because He knew I would recognise it as being from Him, but sadly I didn't follow up on the matter.
Needless to say, I am not promoting Judaism. As Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) says in the Qur'an Islam is the only religion acceptable to Him.
In Surah Al Imran, ayat 85, Allah says: "Whoever seeks a way other than Islam, it will never be accepted from them, and in the Hereafter they will be among the losers." The translation is from Quran.com. The translator is Dr Mustafa Khattab. The link is AL IMRAN 85 QURAN.COM .
RETURN TO GOD
As I have said above, I was in despair in the '70s and tried to turn back to Him, to abandon my immoral, wild behaviour and find once again that God whom I had once so strongly believed in. But, it was not so easy. I tried going to church, but to no avail. I simply didn’t believe in the Trinity.
I believed that Jesus (alayhi as-salam – may the peace of Allah be upon him) was a man and a Prophet, the Messiah, I accepted all of that, but there was no way that I believed he was God .
For my reasons why I reject the Trinity see my page headed ‘The Trinity - a false doctrine’. (THIS PAGE HAS NOT BEEN WRITTEN, BUT INSHA-ALLAH I WILL DO SO.)
On the few occasions that I did attend church I found myself unable to concentrate, to take part in the service, and eventually I gave up trying to return to Christianity.
Since I had been a young teenager I had regularly gone to the State Library Victoria in Swanston Street, Melbourne, to read. I loved to study and used to browse the shelves looking for books of interest.
It was my quest to find the right path in religion that led me back to the library to try to research the subject. ‘What is the best path for me to take,’ I asked myself.
I read various works, including a desultory glance at the Mormons – a glance that left me cold and feeling utterly disillusioned. I then started to read about Judaism, a religion which I felt an affinity with. As a child I loved the Old Testament. I rarely read the New Testament.
It was that empathy with Judaism that led me to look at various titles, among them being a Hebrew to English dictionary. Casually glancing through the pages my eyes fell upon the word EL. And then I remembered the dream. I had forgotten about it for years.
SIGNIFICANCE OF DREAM
The revelation shook me. At the time of the dream I had associated it with God, but only now, seeing the word in the dictionary, did it hit home that my dream was from the Lord of the Worlds, the God of the Old Testament known not only to the Israelites, but among other peoples of the ancient world.
As I have said above, EL simply means God and was a word not only used by the Israelites, but by others such as the Canaanites. The latter however used it to describe their chief god and associated partners with him.
For example, they would call EL their supreme god, with Asherah as his consort and then ascribe lesser roles to other so-called gods such as Baal.
In Islam it is strictly forbidden to associate partners with Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High; Tabāraka wa-taʿālā - Blessed and Exalted [is He]); ‘Azza wa-jall - Prestigious and Majestic [is He]) and to do so constitutes 'shirk' - the act of committing idolatry, or believing in polytheism, or associating partners with Allah such as in the Trinity.
All this directly violates the doctrine of Tawhid (oneness of God).
Finding the dictionary and realising the significance of the dream was a turning point for me, but I still didn’t feel that my quest for the truth was over. So, I continued to browse the shelves, strengthened by the discovery that the dream really was meaningful, but still wondering what path I should take.
In doing so I came upon a translation of the Holy Qur’an. I had never really considered Islam as an alternative but sitting there in that reading room with the great dome soaring magnificently above me I found myself thumbing through the pages and then my eyes fell upon verse 72 in Surah Al-Ma’idah (Surah No. 5).
I cannot now remember which translation it was, but the relevant verse from Tafseer Ibn Kathir reads:
“Surely, they have disbelieved who say: ‘Allah is the Messiah ['Isa (ED: Jesus)], son of Maryam.’ But the Messiah said: ‘O Children of Israel! Worship Allah, my Lord and your Lord.’ Verily, whosoever sets up partners (in worship) with Allah, then Allah has forbidden Paradise for him, and the Fire will be his abode. And for the wrongdoers there are no helpers.”
In verses 73 and 74 Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High) continues:
“Surely, they have disbelieved who say: ‘Allah is the third of three’. And there is no god but One God (Allah). And if they cease not from what they say, verily, a painful torment will befall the disbelievers among them.
“Will they not repent to Allah and ask His Forgiveness? For Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
In verse 75 Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High) emphasizes that ‘Isa (Jesus) (alayhi as-salam – may the peace of Allah be upon him) was a man: He says:
“The Messiah ['Isa], son of Maryam, was no more than a Messenger; many were the Messengers that passed away before him. His mother [Maryam] was a Siddiqah. They both used to eat food. Look how We make the Ayat clear to them; yet look how they are deluded away (from the truth).” (Ibn Kathir, 2003, p. 234) [1]
Commenting on the above verses Ibn Kathir wrote under the heading:
"The Disbelief of the Christians; 'Isa Only called to Tawhid
“Allah states that the Christians, such sects as Monarchite, Jacobite and Nestorite, are disbelievers, those among them who say that ‘Isa is Allah.
“Allah is far holier than what they attribute to Him. They made this claim in spite of the fact that ‘Isa made it known that he was the servant of Allah and His Messenger.
“The first words that ‘Isa uttered when he was still a baby in the cradle were, ‘I am Abdullah (the servant of Allah)’. He did not say, ‘I am Allah’ or ‘I am the son of Allah’. Rather he said,
‘Verily, I am a servant of Allah, He has given me the Scripture and made me a Prophet.’
“Until he said,
‘And verily Allah is my Lord and your Lord. So worship Him (Alone). That is the straight path.’ ” (Ibn Kathir, 2003, pp. 234-235) [2]
The above verses quoted by Ibn Kathir, namely:
· ‘Verily, I am a servant of Allah, He has given me the Scripture and made me a Prophet’
· ‘And verily Allah is my Lord and your Lord. So worship Him (Alone). That is the straight path’
are from Surah Maryam (Surah No. 19), verses 30 and 36 respectively.
ISLAM STRAIGHT PATH
Discovering the verses in the Holy Qur’an denouncing the Trinity reinforced my conviction that the doctrine of the Trinity was false and as a result in 1977 I bought translations of the Qur’an so I could read it at my flat in Anderson Street, South Yarra, at my leisure.
In doing so I was impressed and felt it echoed the sentiments I had found in the Old Testament as a child, of an awesome God, powerful and just, but also benevolent. A friend and protector.
I didn’t read the work from cover to cover, but read pages here, verses there, always feeling I had come upon what I had been looking for.
But, then the doubts started to creep in. Was I misled? Perhaps it was the work of some scribe who had compiled it from Christian and Judaic sources; perhaps it was a sham, a forgery of some description.
So, I began to wonder, the doubts within eating away at my initial conviction that I had found the truth, mulling over whether or not it really was the Word of God or it was a fake.
The problem was I didn’t know anyone I could turn to for advice. I didn’t know any Muslims, nor Arabic scholars, who could guide me. Perplexed, I pondered what to do and then I realised that the one who knew was God and I resolved to ask Him if the Qur’an was His book.
But, then the question was ‘how do I address Him’? Obviously I wasn’t going to call Him Jesus (alayhi as-salam – may the peace of Allah be upon him) because I didn’t believe Jesus (alayhi as-salam – may the peace of Allah be upon him) was God nor did I wish to address Him as God – I felt it was impersonal, distant – I needed to be able to turn to somebody I felt loved me; somebody I could trust to guide me.
So I decided to address Him as ‘EL’ because it was the dream that had turned those printed pages of the Old Testament that I had read as a child into a reality. The living God who cared.
QURAISH
I cannot now remember the exact words, but my prayer effectively was ‘EL is this Qur’an your book?’
I had barely completed the prayer when I felt something moving inside me. It was coming up through my chest from somewhere deep within. I felt it was something physical, tangible, rectangular in shape.
And to my astonishment it came into my mind and it was a word and the word was ‘Quraish’.
I was stunned and sat musing, with my head saying ‘what does Quraish mean’ and my heart saying ‘it’s in the Qur’an, it’s in the Qur’an’.
So I turned to the translations and searched for the word and found it. It was the title of the 106th chapter of the Qur’an. I hadn’t read it previously but did so then.
And this is what it said: [3] (Shafi, 2008, p. 885)
Surah Al-Quraish (The Quraish) (Surah No. 106).
1. Because of the familiarity of the Quraish,
2. That is their familiarity with the trips of winter and summer,
3. They must worship the Lord of this House,
4. Who gave them food against hunger, and gave them security against fear.
Reading the surah, I realised ‘EL’ had answered my prayer. I understood that the verse ‘They must worship the Lord of this House,’ meant He wanted me to worship Him – Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High).
I swear by Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) that I had the revelation about Quraish and that I have faithfully reported it to the best of my recollection.
As I have written above, such a revelation - or inspiration if you like to call it that - is called a ‘wahy’ in Arabic and in my case it was confirmation from Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High) that the Qur’an was authentic – His Word.
USING THE WORD 'WAHY' IN THE LITERAL SENSE
However, I want to stress that I am using the word ‘wahy’ in the sense of the ‘literal meaning’ of the word, not in the sense of the Wahy that was handed down to the Prophet Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him).
The Prophet Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is the last of the Prophets – the last of the Messengers. There will never be another Prophet, another Messenger after him.
As I have written above, anybody who claims to the contrary is a liar and is not a Muslim. They are outside the pale of Islam and have rejected Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) and His beloved Prophet Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him).
I am not a prophet – not one of Allah’s (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) messengers – and have never believed I was.
When I present myself before Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) I try to present myself as being nothing more than an utterly worthless wretch of no importance who He found in the gutter – if not literally, at least figuratively – and upon whom He took pity.
That is all I am, nothing more, nothing less, and I would not dare to say anything to the contrary.
I know enough about my beloved Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) to know that he hates those who strut upon the earth with arrogance and pride, preening themselves, congratulating themselves upon how much they have achieved, how great they are.
When in reality, all that they are and all that they know – is from Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High).
TAFSEER BY MUFTI MUHAMMAD SHAFI
To better explain myself I am going to quote verbatim from a commentary by Shaykh Mufti Muhammad Shafi, (Rahmatullah Alayhi), that appears in the English translation of his Tafseer Ma’ariful Qur’an in Surah Ta-Ha.
The quote is as it appears in Ma’ariful Qur’an except I have not included the Arabic words, simply because I have publishing problems with the insertion of Arabic words in text. I have inserted an ellipsis to show where I have dropped Arabic text.
I have also paragraphed the text where I thought necessary and added the word ‘Qur’an’ where I thought it appropriate to make it clear that the Shaykh was citing a verse from the Qur’an.
In the English translation of Ma’ariful Qur’an the reference is Surah Ta-Ha, Volume 6, pages 94 and 95.
I have highlighted the Shaykh's quote by publishing the text in red and italicizing it.
The relevant passage begins:
“Can a Revelation be sent to a person who is not a Prophet?
“The truth of the matter is that the literal meaning of the word . . . (Wahy) is a secret message which can be understood only by the person to whom it is addressed and by no one else.
“According to this literal sense, the word . . . (Wahy) is not restricted to the prophets only and it can be used for people at large and even to animals. In the verse (Qur’an 16:68) the word has been used in its literal and general sense, i.e. instructing the bees by means of . . . Wahy.
“Similarly in this verse . . . (Qur’an 20:38) the word has been used in its general meaning and this does not necessarily mean that she [ED: Maryam] was a prophet. Sayyidah Maryam (alayhi as-salam – may the peace of Allah be upon her) . . . also received Divine messages though the scholars unanimously hold the view that she was not a prophet.
“The Wahy of this type is made by means of a Divine inspiration (Ilham . . .). Allah Ta'ala puts an idea into someone's heart and then confirms him in the belief that it is from Allah Ta’ala. Saints and other devout people receive such inspirations.
“Abu Hayyan and some other scholars hold that sometimes such inspirations can be made through angels as happened to Sayyidah Maryam (alayhi as-salam – may the peace of Allah be upon her) when Jibra’il (alayhi as-salam – may the peace of Allah be upon him) appeared before her in the form of a human being and conveyed to her the will of Allah Ta'ala.
“These inspirations (Ilham . . .) however, are specific to the person to whom they are made and are not meant for [ED: to be made] public or to be used for the propagation of the True Faith, whereas the Wahy which is revealed to the prophets aims at appointing someone to reform people and enjoining upon him to invite people to the True Faith.
“It is the duty of such a person not only to have complete faith in His Wahy himself, but also to bind others to accept his prophethood and the Wahy and to pronounce as infidels those who deny him.
“This is the difference between . . . (Wahy in the sense of Ilham) or literal . . . and . . . (the wahy of a prophet) or technical Wahy.
“Literal Wahy has always been there and will be there for ever, whereas the prophethood and (Wahy of a prophet) have ceased with the Holy Prophet, who was the last Prophet.
“Some respected scholars have given them the names of . . . (legislative Wahy) and . . . (non- legislative Wahy).
“The false prophet of Qadiyan has used these definitions and certain writings of Sheikh Muhiyy-uddin Ibn 'Arabi in support of his claim to prophethood. His arguments, however, are contrary to what Ibn 'Arabi himself has written.
"A detailed discussion of this question will be found in my book . . . (Khatme Nabuwat).”
The quote from the English translation of the Shaykh's commentary on Surah Ta-Ha, Volume 6 of Ma'ariful Qur'an ends.
A copy of Volume 6 of Ma’ariful Qur’an can be downloaded from the Internet Archive:
The link is Ma'ariful Qur'an Vol. 6.
Following the wahy I believed that the Qur’an was the truth, the Word of God and I was set on a straight path that eventually led me to embracing Islam in 1983 as a Sunni Muslim who followed the Hanafi School.
THE QUR’AN IS ONLY THE QUR’AN IN ARABIC
On occasions I have told people the truth about the ‘wahy’ and it is obvious in a few instances there have been misunderstandings. I want to stress that the inspiration I had in 1977 was about the Qur’an, it was not about any translation of that Holy text.
The Qur’an is only the Qur’an in Arabic – no translation or interpretation of the Qur’an can replace the original Arabic text, nor do it justice.
The reason why there was such a long time between the wahy in 1977 and my embracing of Islam in 1983 was because of my personality, my nature. During the late 1970s I wanted to be alone and shunned other people’s company and even today I tend to be reclusive. I like being alone with Him.
Aside from going to work and basics, such as going shopping, I had little to do with other people and didn’t go to the masjid nor mix in the Muslim community.
I suffer from an anxiety disorder, which can be acute on occasions and I find I can take comfort from Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) by doing Dhikr, reciting Qur'an or even just going for a drive.
I have had it from when I was a young man. I told my general practitioner (GP) at the time. He was concerned and recommended I seek professional advice. It's possible the disorder was triggered by fierce arguments I had with my father about his treatment of my mother.
You cannot wrong your wife like that and expect it to be swept away under the carpet. Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) never forgets.
However, because of my wish to be alone, my failure to mix in the Muslim community, I did not practise Islam correctly and did not begin to do so until I recited the first Kalimah – ‘La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammad-ur-Rasoolullah’ [there is no god but Allah and Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is his Messenger] in 1983.
It is true that after I had the wahy in 1977 I described myself as a Muslim – I sincerely believed in my heart that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High) was the one and only God.
I made the claim with the utmost sincerity and it certainly had nothing to do with me holding any heretical beliefs, such as those espoused by the Qadiyanis or Ahmadis or any other cult.
I am not and have never been a Qadiyani nor an Ahmadi and have never told anybody that I was. Nor have I ever been a Shi'ah – I have heard that whisper back on a few occasions.
The Qadiyanis or Ahmadis, whatever name you want to call them by, are not Muslims. Indeed, anybody who claims that there has been another Prophet after the Prophet Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is not a Muslim and to claim otherwise is to reject the teachings of Islam.
As for the Shi'ah Muslims, their case is with Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High). I am not qualified to comment upon their affairs.
EMBRACED ISLAM 1983
After I embraced Islam in 1983 as a Sunni Muslim it was explained to me that to be a Muslim it was essential that a person not only believed that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High) was the one and only God and that Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was His Messenger but they also had to recite in Arabic the Kalimah ‘La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammad-ur-Rasoolullah’ [there is no god but Allah and Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is his Messenger].
Please note that ‘La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammad-ur-Rasoolullah’ [there is no god but Allah and Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is his Messenger] is the First Kalimah (Declaration of Faith or Article of Faith).
Traditionally, as I further explain below, people recite the second Kalimah when they embrace Islam. After I initially recited the first Kalimah, I later recited in Arabic the second Kalimah which is:
'Ash-hadu an-la ilaha ill-Allaah wa ash-hadu anna Muhammadan abduhu wa rasooluh.'
It means: 'I bear witness that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, the One alone, without partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger'.
As a result of reciting the Kalimah I dated my reversion to Islam from 1983.
THE SUNNI PATH IS THE STRAIGHT PATH
It is essential if anyone embraces Islam that they take only the straight path of the Sunnis. Under no circumstances should they follow any other path. If anyone is in doubt about this, they should consult one of the Ulama (qualified religious scholars - singular Alim).
Muftis of such standing can be readily reached by contacting the Australian National Imams Council (ANIC) or their local mosque.
In reverting to Islam, it is important to practise the religion in the standard form in accordance with the teachings of one of the four recognised schools: The schools are the Hanafi, Shafi'i, Maliki and Hanbali.
Don't try to make personal decisions about the veracity or otherwise of the Qur'an or Ahadith; forming your own opinion when you are not qualified to do so about the teachings of Islam can - unless Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High) saves you - set you on the path to Jahannam (Hell).
If you wish to revert to Islam, then read the article on Islamqa.org headed 'Procedure for Reverting to Islam'. The link is: Islamqa.org81786 .
It notes and I quote: "First instruct the person who intends embracing Islam (who we will hereafter refer to as ‘revert’) to have a shower by washing the hands, mouth and nose, and then pouring water over the entire body. This is the basic ghusl for a revert and is not compulsory but mustahabb. Instruct the revert to wear clean clothes as well. All this will be done prior to the time of conversion."
Mustahabb in Islam means something that is not obligatory but is recommended.
There are two fundamental steps in reverting to Islam:
Firstly, you must believe sincerely in the heart that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High) is the one and only God and that the Prophet Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is the last of the Prophets and Messengers.
Secondly, you must recite the Second Kalimah in Arabic. The relevant link on Islamqa.org is: Islamqa.org130802. The article is headed: 'What Kalimah should a person read to accept Islam?'
The word Kalimah is an Arabic word that encompasses the fundamentals of Islam. According to Islamqa.org there are seven Kalimahs. The link for the relevant article on Islamqa.org is Islamqa.org104017. The article is headed: 'Kalimas: Five or Six?'
The relevant paragraphs from the article on Islamqa.org headed 'Procedure for Reverting to Islam' are:
"When the person arrives at the appointed time, then begin by explaining the meaning of the Kalimah to the revert. State that Muslims must believe in One God who has no partner, no son, no father, no wife, and nothing is comparable unto Him. Then we believe that Muhammad (peace be upon him) is the last and final Messenger of God to this world, after whom there will be no new Messenger or Prophet. Also explain that for God we say “ALLAH”, which is Arabic for ‘God’.
"Thereafter read the Kalimah and let the revert read after you. Break it up and read slowly so that the revert will be able to follow and pronounce the words correctly. Do this thrice or more, as per the need. After reading the Kalimah now give the person the translation, as follows: 'There is none worthy of Worship but Allah; Muhammad is The Messenger of Allah'."
It is also halal (lawful) for a revert to Islam to practise tasawwuf, or Sufism as it is known in the West, but under those circumstances one should practise it in the standard form and take a Shaykh from one of the established orders, such as the Naqshbandi, Qadiryya or Chishti.
I am not a Sufi, I do not have a Shaykh from a tariqah (Sufi order) and do not have any authority to take a person’s bay’ah or baiyat, (oath of allegiance) which is normally given by a murid (disciple) to the Shaykh when he joins a tariqah (Sufi order).
ISLAM IS FOR EVERYONE - NOT JUST THE ARABS
One common misunderstanding in the West is that Islam is only for the Arabs or people of colour, but such an apprehension is wrong. The Prophet Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was a Messenger for all of mankind – regardless of their ethnicity, colour or social standing.
There is a famous Hadith (tradition) which is rated sahih (authentic; correct) and as such should not be disputed which reads:
“It is reported that the Messenger of Allah (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) delivered a sermon wherein he stated, ‘O people, indeed your Lord is one and your forefather is one. Indeed, there is no superiority for the Arab over the non-Arab nor the non-Arab over the Arab, and there is no superiority for the white over the black nor the black over the white. Have I conveyed the message?’ The people replied, ‘The Messenger of Allah has conveyed the message’ ”. [Musnad Ahmad 23489, sahih]
The above translation is from a book called The Virtues of Blacks and Abyssinians by al-‘Allamah Abu ‘l-Faraj Ibn al-Jawzi published by DAR AL-ARQAM, the first edition 2019.
The same Hadith is cited with a different translation on Islamqa.org. The link is: Musnad Ahmad Taqwa.
In some respects the latter translation on Islamqa.org is preferable to the one from ‘The virtues of Blacks and Abyssinians’ because it makes it clear that superiority in Allah’s eyes (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) comes from Taqwa (piety) not the colour of a person’s skin.
Racism is haram – utterly abhorred - in Islam. Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) judges a person by their righteousness.
Over the years I have told several people about the dream and the wahy about the Qur’an, but my claims have usually been met with scepticism.
However, I have told the truth and as I have noted above I take Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) as my witness that I have done so. Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) is Ash-Shahid (The Witness) and He is also Al-Haqq (The Truth) and never lies.
In Surah Al-Baqarah verse 186 Allah says:
“And when My servants ask you [O Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) concerning Me, then answer them], I am indeed near (to them by My Knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor). So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright.” (Ibn Kathir, 2003, p. 505) [4]
As such if any Muslim is in doubt about my claim to have had the dream or they have doubts that I had the wahy about the Qur’an, then all he or she has to do is ask Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) whether or not I am telling the truth.
According to Ahadith reported by Ibn Kathir He answers all prayers subject to certain qualifications. (Ibn Kathir, 2003, pp. 505-508) [5]
For example, Ibn Kathir noted the following: “Muslim recorded that the Prophet (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: ‘The supplication of the servant will be accepted as long as he does not supplicate for what includes sin, or cutting the relations of the womb, and as long as he does not become hasty.’ He was asked, O Messenger of Allah! How does one become hasty? He said, ‘He says, I supplicated and supplicated, but I do not see that my supplication is being accepted from me. He thus loses interest and abandons supplicating (to Allah).’ ”
In seeking guidance from Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) a Muslim may do so by performing the Nafl prayer Istikhara (voluntary prayer for guidance) or simply make Dua (supplicate).
In Radiant Prayers by Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani, the Shaykh recommended reciting the following verse from the Holy Qur’an when seeking guidance by making Dua:
“Our Lord, bless us with mercy from Your own and bless us with right guidance in all our matters.” [Surah Al-Kahf verse 10] (Surah No. 18) (Taqi Usmani, no date, p. 15) [6]
I highly recommend Radiant Prayers. Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani is the son of the late Maulana Mufti Muhammad Shafi, the former Grand Mufti of Pakistan.
As I have written above, Mufti Muhammad Shafi was the author of an excellent Tafseer called Ma'ariful Qur'an which is available in English in an eight-volume set.
The website address for Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani is:
Home | Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani (muftitaqiusmani.com).
CONCEALING SIGNS
The question of whether or not I should discuss the dream and the wahy with other people has confounded me over the years and in recent times I have tried twice to get guidance on the issue from qualified scholars in New South Wales. Unfortunately, such advice has not been forthcoming.
However, I have decided to publish the truth for the following reason.
In the Holy Qur’an Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) says in verses 159 and 160 of Surah Al-Baqarah:
“Verily, those who conceal the clear proofs, evidences and the guidance, which We have sent down, after We have made it clear for the People in the Book, they are the ones cursed by Allah and cursed by the cursers.
“Except those who repent and do righteous deeds, and openly declare (the truth which they concealed). These, I will accept their repentance. And I am the One Who accepts repentance, the Most Merciful.” (Ibn Kathir, 2003, p. 452) [8]
In his commentary on the verses Ibn Kathir wrote:
“These Ayat sternly warn against those who hide the clear signs that the Messengers were sent with which guide to the correct path and beneficial guidance for the hearts, after Allah has made such aspects clear for His servants through the Books that He revealed to His Messengers. . .”
Ibn Kathir continued:
“A Hadith in the Musnad, narrated through several chains of narrators, that strengthens the overall judgement of the Hadith, states that Abu Hurayrah narrated that Allah’s Messenger (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: ‘Whoever was asked about knowledge that one has, but he hid it, then a bridle made of fire will be tied around his mouth on the Day of Resurrection.’ [9]
“It is also recorded by Al-Bukhari that Abu Hurayrah said, ‘If it was not for an Ayah in Allah’s Book, I would not have narrated a Hadith for anyone.’ ” [10]
Ibn Kathir then cited the beginning of verse 159 indicating that this is the ayah Abu Hurayrah (Radi Allahu Ta’ala’anhu – may Allah be pleased with him) is referring to. (Ibn Kathir, 2003, p. 452-453) [11]
FEAR OF ALLAH
In light of verses 159 and 160 and the commentary by Ibn Kathir, especially the Ahadith he has cited from Abu Hurayrah (Radi Allahu Ta’ala’anhu – may Allah be pleased with him) in which it is made clear that the person who conceals knowledge risks being punished by Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) I have decided to publish the truth.
I stress I am publishing the details of the dream and the wahy about the Qur’an only out of fear of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High). I read verses 159 and 160 of Surah Al-Baqarah many years ago and upon reading them again recently it occurred to me that they might be relevant to my situation and that it would be prudent for me to tell the truth out of fear of Him. If it wasn’t for my fear of Him, I would not have done so.
They say a Muslim lives between hope and fear – hope of being loved, forgiven and shown mercy by Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) and fear of His Might and Majesty, His Holiness, His punishment if they err. So, I have told the truth.
GENERAL NOTES
Unfortunately, after I took down this page in April 2024, I have been slow to do a rewrite and post the page again. This is partly because I have been repeatedly ill this year and that has slowed down my efforts to work on the site and partly because I was reluctant to publish it and in doing so run the risk of being caused more anxiety.
There have been a lot of misunderstandings over the years about my reversion to Islam and in these latter days I just feel I cannot cope with any more stress.
I know there is a lot wrong with the website, but I simply can't cope with the work when I am so sick.
I beg readers to make Dua for me and ask Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High) to heal me.
Only He and He alone and nobody else but Him can heal me. Any doctor who can help me only does so as His slave, whether he or she knows it or not.
I am aware that some of the material in the paragraphs below is already covered on the page 'My reversion to Islam - in brief' but rather than try to edit the text I have let it stand so I can review it properly later.
PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS STATEMENT HAS ONLY BEEN QUICKLY PROOFED. IF ANYONE NOTICES ANY MISTAKES, COULD THEY PLEASE CONTACT ME AT:
ianccalderwood@gmail.com
OR
ianccalderwood@yahoo.com.au
They can also ring me on 0437 611 146.
Before proceeding with my background, I want to note that after I reverted to Islam in 1983 I changed my name on the 28th of October 1984 by Deed Poll in Melbourne from Ian Charles Calderwood to Yahya Abdullah. I lived in Pakistan under that name from April 1985 and returned to Melbourne in September 1990.
A copy of the Deed Poll can be seen at 'DEED POLL 28 OCTOBER 1984'.
For details about my stay in Pakistan see my pages headed 'LIVING IN PAKISTAN' and ‘ORGANIZED CRIME RESEARCH AND ITS CONSEQUENCES’.
THIS LATTER PAGE IS NOT AVAILABLE AT PRESENT. I HAVE TAKEN IT DOWN BECAUSE I WANT TO PRAY ABOUT IT AND REVIEW THE TEXT.
I took the 'ORGANIZED CRIME RESEARCH' page down in April 2024 because I was concerned that it too might be misunderstood. My intention in writing the page was not to humiliate the Pakistanis. I was trying to arrive at the truth about certain events that occurred while I was living in Pakistan from April 1985 to September 1990.
But, I realised in reading the page that it could be misunderstood as an attempt by me to belittle or humiliate some people in Pakistan and out of fear of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High) I removed it.
HADITH WARNING AGAINST HUMILIATING MUSLIMS
There is an Hadith which spells out how important it is not to humiliate another Muslim, so to avoid any such accusation I removed the pages on organized crime.
The relevant Hadith is published in Sahih Muslim by Darussalam. It does not mention the word ‘humiliate’ but the same Hadith is published in Sahih Muslim by Dar Al-Kotob Al-Ilmiyah and it makes it clear that such humiliation is forbidden
The relevant Ahadith are detailed below:
FROM SAHIH MUSLIM PUBLISHED BY DARUSSALAM, RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA.
VOLUME 6, PAGES 431-432 HADITH 6541. 1ST EDITION 2007.
Chapter 10. The Prohibition Of Wronging, Forsaking, Or Despising A Muslim And The Inviolability Of His Blood, Honor And Wealth
[6541] 32 - (2564) It was narrated that Abu Hurairah said: “The Messenger of Allah (Sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: 'Do not envy one another, do not artificially inflate prices, do not hate one another, do not turn away from one another, do not undercut one another. Be, 0 slaves of Allah, brothers. The Muslim is the brother of his fellow-Muslim. He does not wrong him, forsake or despise him. Piety (Taqwa) is here’ ” - and he pointed to his chest three times. “It is sufficient sin for a man to despise his Muslim brother. A Muslim is unlawful to another Muslim, his blood, his wealth and his honor.”
FROM SAHIH MUSLIM PUBLISHED BY DAR AL-KOTOB AL-ILMIYAH, BEIRUT, LEBANON,
VOLUME 4, PAGE 199 HADITH 2564, 1ST EDITION 2005.
[10] It is forbidden to wrong a Muslim, to humiliate him, to abuse him, and his blood, honour and wealth are inviolable
32-(2564) Abu Huraira ‘Allah be pleased with him’ reported: The Messenger of Allah ‘Allah's blessing and peace be upon him’ said: “Don't feel envy (of one another) and don't outbid (one another in order to raise price) and don't nurse aversion or enmity and don't enter into a transaction when another one had entered into it and be fellow-brothers and servants of Allah.
“A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He should neither wrong him nor should he humiliate him, nor should he look down upon him. The piety is here, (he pointed towards his chest thrice). It is a great evil for a Muslim that he should look down upon his brother Muslim. All things of a Muslim are inviolable for his brother in faith: his blood, his wealth and his honour.”
33-( .. . ) Abu Huraira ‘Allah be pleased with him’ reported: The Messenger of Allah ‘Allah's blessing and peace be upon him’ said the same, with the following addition: “Verily Allah neither looks to your bodies nor does He look to your faces, but He looks to your hearts,” and he pointed towards his chest with his fingers.
34-( ... ) Abu Huraira ‘Allah be pleased with him’ reported: The Messenger of Allah ‘Allah's blessing and peace be upon him’ said: “No doubt, Allah neither looks to your faces nor does He look to your wealth, but He looks to your hearts and deeds.”
Insha-Allah, I may restore the organized crime page, but that must be Allah's decision not mine. He is the One who knows best, not me. I have been making Dua about the matter and if it pleases Him, Insha-Allah, I will try to abide by whatever He wants.
REVERSION TO MY ORIGINAL NAME
For personal reasons I reverted to my former name of Ian Charles Calderwood on the 12th of March 1992. I did so by Change of Name Registration.
The Victorian Government had abolished Deed Polls in October 1986 and introduced a Change of Name Registration form.
Details about the abolition of Deed Polls and the change of name registration system can be found on the Births, Deaths and Marriages Victoria website. The link is: Births Deaths and Marriages Victoria.
The Law Handbook 1996, published by the Fitzroy Legal Service, also explains on Page 324 that Deed Polls were abolished in Victoria effective from the 01st of November 1986. It notes: “While you may use a deed poll as evidence of a change of name, you cannot now use a deed poll to administratively register a change of name. With effect from 1 November 1986, a change of name can only be registered by making an application to the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages on the prescribed form . . .”
The Fitzroy Legal Service has provided invaluable support to the disadvantaged in Victoria over the years. The link to the service is Fitzroy Legal Service.
The page about deed polls can be found by searching the Law Handbook at The practical guide for law in Victoria – Fitzroy Legal Service.
A copy of my Change of Name Registration form can be seen at CHANGE OF NAME 12 MARCH 1992.
MY BACKGROUND
As I said above, I was born in Newcastle, Australia, on the 11th of January 1946 at the Mater Hospital, which in those days was run by Roman Catholic nuns. At the time it was a very different hospital from the one that is operating now and was predominantly a baby hospital.
Even though we were Protestants, that was a matter of no concern. Families from all over the Hunter region – from all backgrounds and creeds - went to the hospital which had an excellent reputation.
I was very ill at birth so my parents, fearing that I was going to die, withheld the announcement of my arrival for nearly a fortnight. When it became obvious I was going to survive my parents announced my birth on the 23rd of January 1946 in what was then called the Newcastle Morning Herald and Miners’ Advocate. Later the paper changed its name to the Newcastle Herald.
A full-page copy of Page 2 of the Newcastle Morning Herald from the 23rd of January 1946 is attached plus a copy of the relevant entry under BIRTHS.
The links are:
· ICC birth Newcastle Herald 23 Jan 46 – 1
· ICC birth Newcastle Herald 23 Jan 46 - 2
Even though my mother had been born in Chiltern, Victoria, her family was living in Newcastle because my grandfather had been an engineer at Broken Hill Proprietary Company Limited (BHP).
That was how she met my father. He worked in administration at BHP and moved in with my mother’s family as a lodger. Romance blossomed and they were eventually married on the 11th of February 1939 at the Church of Christ at Mayfield, Newcastle.
A copy of their original marriage certificate is attached, both the front and back of the certificate plus a certified copy from Births, Deaths and Marriages in NSW. The links are:
· CC and JAT marriage 11 Feb 39 – 1
· CC and JAT marriage 11 Feb 39 – 2
· CC and JAT marriage 11 Feb 39 – 3
Also attached are copies from Page 12 of the Newcastle Morning Herald of the 02nd of February 1939 announcing the forthcoming marriage. I have attached a full-page copy plus a close-up of the announcement. They are a bit faint, but readable. The links are:
· Newcastle Herald 02 Feb 1939 - 1
· Newcastle Herald 02 Feb 1939 - 2
E. A. WATTS PTY LTD
As I wrote above Dad worked in administration at BHP in Newcastle. During World War Two he would have been classified as part of essential services but after the war in 1949 he had ambitions to be a public accountant, so he moved us all – my mother, my sister and me - to Melbourne.
In those days it was the financial centre of Australia and he believed that he had more chance of success there than in Newcastle. He proved himself to be correct and it wasn’t long before he landed an accounting position with one of the top builders in Australia at the time, E. A. Watts Pty Ltd.
Dad was very successful at E. A. Watts and eventually rose to the position of company secretary. His role included making any media announcements for the company as can be seen by a story I have attached from The Argus dated the 05th of January 1956. As usual I have attached a full page so the article can be seen in context and the story itself.
The links are:
· WATTS ARGUS 05 Jan 56 FP - 1
· WATTS ARGUS 05 Jan 56 ST - 2
E. A. Watts was responsible for the building of a new stand at the MCG in preparation for the Olympic Games. Through no fault of the company, nor the MCG administrators, work was delayed because of an industrial dispute between two unions.
In his capacity as company secretary Dad warned construction of the stand might not be completed in time for the games.
I should add that The Argus was a leading daily newspaper in Melbourne from 1846 until it closed in 1957. See the Wikipedia article about the paper. The link is The Argus (Melbourne) Wikipedia.
EDITHVALE
I was only three-years old when we moved to Melbourne in 1949. I can still remember some of the train journey from Newcastle. In those days New South Wales had a different railway gauge from Victoria, so we had to change trains at Albury.
It was a big deal for a three-year old.
We initially stayed with my mother’s parents at Edithvale, a beachside suburb on the outskirts of Melbourne. A copy of the electoral roll for Flinders in 1949, showing my grandparents names, Alphonso Guy C. Tewksbury and Gladys Ada Tewksbury, is attached.
The link is: Electoral Roll Flinders 1949.
The third person listed for the address in Somme Parade, Robert Harry Tewksbury, is my late uncle - Mum’s brother.
Bob, as he was known in the family trained as a bomber pilot in the Second World War - from what I recall at Avalon Airport in Lara, Victoria. He was born in 1925 and by the time he had finished his training the war was all but over.
An announcement about how he had gained his 'wings' appeared in the Newcastle Morning Herald and Miners' Advocate on Thursday the 11th of May 1944.
A copy is attached. As usual I have attached a full-page so the story can be seen in context, plus a copy of the story itself.
The links are:
Tewksbury wings 11 May 1944 FP
Tewksbury wings 11 May 1944 ST
You will note that in the story Bob's surname is spelled with an 'e'. It was quite common for the name Tewkesbury to be spelled with an 'e'. In England the family name was with the 'e', but they dropped it when they migrated to Australia.
Also attached is his war record from the National Archives of Australia, showing his next-of-kin as being my grandfather, Alphonso Tewksbury.
The link is: NA Aus Tewksbury war record.
We left Papa (I used to call my maternal-grandfather Papa - I'm not sure why) and Grandma’s and moved to a rented house at 6 Miami Street, Hawthorn East, in 1950. A copy of the electoral roll for the division of Chisholm, subdivision of Auburn, for 1951 showing my mother and father enrolled as electors is attached.
The link is: Electoral Roll Auburn 1951.
HOLLWAY: 1952 STATE ELECTIONS
My father was a hard-line right-winger and had political ambitions. While we were living in Hawthorn he supported a former Liberal Party Premier, Thomas Hollway, in the 1952 Victorian state elections. A copy of the Wikipedia article about Hollway is attached. The link to Wikipedia is Thomas Hollway - Wikipedia.
I have relied heavily on information from Wikipedia in writing the notes below, but as far as I am aware they are correct.
Even though Hollway was originally the leader of the Liberal Party in Victoria he clashed with other Liberals about the question of electoral reform. He believed the electoral boundaries heavily favoured rural areas and as such considered the Country Party to be overrepresented in parliament.
After much political chicanery Hollway was eventually expelled from the parliamentary Liberal Party in September 1952, a move that after further political intrigue finally led to him forming the Electoral Reform League (ERL).
My father supported Hollway in his efforts to redistribute the electorate boundaries and stood as the ERL candidate for Hawthorn in the 1952 state election in December. He was unsuccessful in his bid for power, but the ERL won six seats.
A copy of a story from The Age dated 06 Dec 1952 listing the candidates, including my father, for the election is attached. As usual, I have attached a full page of the story, plus the relevant list itself.
The links are:
· The Age candidates 06 Dec 1952 – 1
· The Age candidates 06 Dec 1952 – 2
The election was won by the Labor Party led by John Cain. It took 37 of the 65 seats. The massive swing to Labor of 13 seats was doubtless boosted by the appalling infighting and political chicanery displayed by members of both the Liberal and Country parties.
And what was it all about? Money and power. Even though Hollway may have been correct in his assessment that there were inequalities in the electoral boundaries he faced formidable opposition from members of his own Liberal Party who believed they needed the Country Party to keep power in Victoria.
He also faced strong opposition from members of the Country Party, who shrewdly realised that any redistribution could cost them their seats.
ST JOHN’S CAMBERWELL
It was when we were living in Hawthorn that we first started going to St John’s Church of England in Camberwell. My family were practising Christians, not just Christians in name only. We regularly attended St. John’s Church of England at Camberwell, as it was called when I was young.
Later in 1981 the Church of England in Australia officially changed its name to the Anglican Church of Australia.
I was raised to believe in the Trinity and taught to recite the Nicene Creed – the affirmation that you believed in the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. For my thoughts on the Trinity and the Nicene Creed see my page headed ‘The Trinity – a false doctrine’. (THIS PAGE HAS NOT BEEN WRITTEN, BUT INSHA-ALLAH I WILL DO SO.)
I was confirmed in the Church at St. John’s at the age of about 10 and regularly attended with my parents and sister.
St. John’s burned to the ground in March 1955, a mindless act by some elderly man who lit a fire in the church so he could keep warm only to see it leap completely out of control.
I have attached copies of some of the newspaper reports from The Argus plus a photo from The Age about the fire. As usual I have given two copies of each report, one copy is of the full page the other the story. The links are:
ST JOHN'S ARGUS 19 MARCH 55 FP
ST JOHN'S ARGUS 19 MARCH 55 ST
ST JOHN'S ARGUS 07 JUNE 55 FP
ST JOHN'S ARGUS 07 JUNE 55 ST
ST JOHN'S THE AGE 19 MARCH 55 FP
ST JOHN'S THE AGE 19 MARCH 55 ST
As I have written above, The Argus was a leading daily newspaper in Melbourne from 1846 until it closed in 1957. See the Wikipedia article about the paper. The link is The Argus (Melbourne) Wikipedia.
We moved from 6 Miami Street, Hawthorn East, in about February 1953 to a house Dad had bought at 90 Harp Road, Kew. We were still living there at the time of the fire at St John's.
I remember arriving home from school only to be greeted by my mother at the door weeping because she had just heard on the radio that St. John’s had burned to the ground.
The Church mattered. It was important.
I have attached a copy of the 1955 Electoral Roll for the Division of Kooyong Kew North showing my mother and father registered as voters at 90 Harp Road, Kew.
The link is: Electoral Roll Kooyong Kew North 1955.
My father was an alcoholic and adulterer. At one stage my mother, who dearly loved him, went to see the minister at St John’s, Camberwell, Tom Thomas. We had worshipped there for years so naturally my mother expected the vicar to be supportive.
She complained about my father’s drinking and adultery, but Thomas wasn’t interested and rejected her pleas. I recall my mother coming home bitterly disappointed by the vicar’s attitude.
My father, an affluent man, regularly donated to the church and I do not doubt that influenced Thomas.
Dad’s support for the church was far-reaching and when St John’s was rebuilt after the fire in 1955, he paid for one of the new stained-glass windows. A costly affair.
Such is the way of the world. You can sin against God – commit adultery, spurn your wife and children, drink beyond reason – and as far as some men of the cloth are concerned it is of no account providing you pay with hard, cold cash.
I have attached copies of six pages from History of St. John’s Camberwell which was published in Melbourne in 1963. On pages 218 and 219 the author R. J MacDougall writes about the stained-glass windows that had been donated to the new church.
On page 219 he notes: “. . . and that of St. Matthew the gift of Mr. Charles Calderwood”. No mention of my mother, not even of family.
Each of the copies is a double-page spread so there are only three links. They are:
ST JOHN'S HISTORY TITLE PAGE;
ST JOHN'S HISTORY CONTENTS PAGE;
ST JOHN'S HISTORY PP 218-219.
For years my mother had worked hard to maintain the family home to my father's high standards – which to say the least were demanding. She had supported him through all those difficult years when he had to study to achieve his accounting qualifications.
But that all meant nothing. It was just taken for granted and quietly swept away. No wonder she was bitter.
He was just an arrogant, egotistical man seeking to impress others with his generosity. And, when it’s all said and done it meant nothing. The only religion acceptable to Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) is the religion of Islam and all that vanity, all that show meant nothing.
HIGHLAND AVENUE, BALWYN
In early 1956 Dad bought another house at 8 Highland Avenue, Balwyn and we moved there. He didn't tell my mother that he had bought the house. There was no consultation in the marriage, no love, no comfort. Just an arrogant man who showed contempt for a loving wife who had done him no wrong.
It was while we were living at Highland Avenue that my mother decided to separate. She could no longer handle his infidelity, his drinking, the mental cruelty, and she left the house with me in 1961.
I have attached a copy of the 1961 Electoral Roll for the Division of Kooyong, District of Balwyn, showing my mother and father registered as voters at 8 Highland Avenue, Balwyn. There are two pages.
The links are:
Electoral Roll Kooyong Balwyn 1961 - 1
Electoral Roll Kooyong Balwyn 1961 - 2
As I said above, when they separated, I went with my mother, a decent, chaste, loving woman, whom I believed had been wronged. She was a good mother to me and my sister.
My sister remained living with my father. She was five years older than me and by this stage had already met her husband-to-be at a Young Liberals meeting. The situation was worsened for me because when I went back to visit my father on a few occasions it was obvious he was being dishonest about my mother.
A classic example was when my sister was due to marry at St. John's Camberwell. I went to visit the household because I knew my grandfather and grandmother had flown from Sydney to stay with my father so they could attend the wedding.
To my surprise my grandfather spewed forth filth about my mother, claiming she was a 'whore, a prostitute'. I was utterly stunned and didn't know how to handle the situation. It was obvious my father had been telling his family lies about Mum and I simply had no idea what to say to my grandfather.
On the one hand I respected him, on the other I was confronted with the most appalling slander. I knew my mother. She was a good woman, utterly innocent of the filthy accusations. I have never forgotten what he said. I can still see his face as he spewed forth the evil.
'WHO IS YOUR MOTHER?'
Now, if you are wondering as to why I have gone to such great trouble to establish my family’s background it is because when I was living in Islamabad, Pakistan, I was regularly assailed – especially in the first year of so, 1985 and 1986 - with the question ‘who is your mother?’
I used to wander around wondering what was going on. Because the repeated questions suggested to me that somebody was questioning my antecedents.
But why? It didn’t make sense. Unless you link the questions with later events that I have set out on my page headed ‘Organized crime research and its consequences’. Was the truth that somebody was trying to undermine my standing in Islamabad so that I could became an easy target for something sinister?
As I have written above, I took the 'Organized crime research . . .' page down in April 2024 because I was concerned that it too might be misunderstood. My intention in writing the page was not to humiliate the Pakistanis. I was trying to arrive at the truth about certain events that occurred while I was living in Pakistan from April 1985 to September 1990.
But, I realised in reading the page that it could be misunderstood as an attempt by me to belittle or humiliate some people in Pakistan and out of fear of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - Glory be to Him, the Most High) I removed it.
Insha-Allah, I may restore the page, but that must be Allah's decision not mine. He is the One who knows best, not me. I have been making Dua about the matter and if it pleases Him, Insha-Allah I will try to abide by whatever He wants.
SEEKING ALLAH'S HELP
If I have one regret in life it is that I failed Mum when I tried to revert her to Islam. My mother would listen politely, but I failed to convince her, and I think part of the problem was I did not realise you could call on Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) for help under those circumstances.
If you have reverted to Islam but you have relatives or friends whom you love but they have failed to do so, then it is halal (lawful) to beg Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) to revert them to Islam. You normally cannot intercede for those who don't believe in Islam, but in this situation, you are allowed to call on Him for help.
I didn't realise that at the time and frankly I think that is why I failed to persuade her to embrace the true religion. I needed Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High). There is a saying in Islam lā ḥawla wa-lā quwwata ʾillā bi-llāhi l-ʿaliyyi l-ʿaẓīmi which means 'There is no power nor strength except by Allah the Lofty, the Great' - in other words you simply can't achieve good without Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High), that's what it basically comes down to.
In discussing the matter of lā ḥawla wa-lā quwwata ʾillā bi-llāhi l-ʿaliyyi l-ʿaẓīmi I have quoted from the Wikipedia article on the subject. If you want to read further the link is Hawqala .
One point that may puzzle non-Muslim readers is my use of the word 'revert'. In English it is common to refer to people who have reverted to Islam as converts, but many practising Muslims use the word 'revert' because we believe that everybody is born a Muslim - that's the natural religion - but non-Muslim parents take their children away from the religion.
So, if you embrace Islam you are actually not 'converting' to the true religion but 'reverting' to it.
And, if you are wondering why I still seem so angry about my father's behaviour then I will answer this way. It's because in the eyes of God - in Allah's eyes (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) - it matters how you treat your wife. And, believe you me, Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala - glory be to Him, the Most High) never forgets.
There are several Ahadith in which the Prophet Muhammad (sall-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam - may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) warned that the best among you is the one who treats his wives best.
One of the Ahadith reads:
"Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, 'The most complete of believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women' ".
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 1162
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Tirmidhi.
It's obvious my father didn't get the message!
PARENTS MARRIAGE FAILS
The separation which ended in divorce triggered a lot of emotional turmoil in me about Christianity. I was already struggling to grasp the Trinity – a doctrine that to my way of thinking was suspect – but to witness my father’s hypocrisy only exacerbated the matter.
The breakdown in my parents’ marriage and consequent clashes with my father proved to be catalysts that drove me away from the Church. That break influenced me profoundly and I went from being an innocent choirboy who believed in God to eventually being a renegade who knew only too well some of the darkest paths in life.
As I grew older my dissolute, rebellious behaviour went beyond the pale and in the late 1960s and early 1970s I found myself blundering from one crisis to another. Like my father I too drank whisky. Like him it made me quarrelsome, argumentative. There's nothing worse than a nasty drunk.
I had seen my father drink a bottle of whisky in a night and then get up and hit the port in the morning. I found myself heading down the same path.
It was that devolution that eventually led me to trying to find God again in the mid-1970s – a journey that in many ways culminated in my discovering the Qur’an at the State Library Victoria and then praying to ‘EL’ in 1977 asking Him if the Qur’an was His book.
NEWSPAPER SOURCES
If anyone wants to check on any of the newspaper articles I have quoted above, they can do so at Trove, which is part of the National Library of Australia (NLA).
It's an invaluable source of information. A formidable collection of newspapers, magazines and periodicals. Unfortunately, it has faced funding issues over the years and at one stage nearly had to close its doors and go off-line.
If you are interested, read the story in COSMOS magazine dated the 25th of January 2023 headed 'Trove in trouble'.
If ever you are in a position to support Trove, or for that matter the National Library of Australia (NLA) do so. They deserve it.
[1] Ibn Kathir. (2003) Tafsir Ibn Kathir (Abridged) (2nd ed. July 2003) (Vol. 3). Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, Darussalam.
[2] Ibn Kathir. (2003) Tafsir Ibn Kathir (Abridged) (2nd ed. July 2003) (Vol. 3). Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, Darussalam.
[3] Shafi, Maulana Mufti M. (2008) Ma’ariful-Qur’an. (Vol. 8). Karachi, Pakistan: Maktaba-e-Darul-Uloom Karachi.
[4] Ibn Kathir. (2003) Tafsir Ibn Kathir (Abridged) (2nd ed. July 2003) (Vol. 1). Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, Darussalam.
[5] Ibn Kathir. (2003) Tafsir Ibn Kathir (Abridged) (2nd ed. July 2003) (Vol. 1). Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, Darussalam.
[6] Taqi Usmani, Mufti M. (no date) Radiant Prayers New Delhi, India, Millat Book Centre.
[7] Shafi, Maulana Mufti M. (2008) Ma’ariful-Qur’an. (Vol. 6). Karachi, Pakistan: Maktaba-e-Darul-Uloom Karachi.
[8] Ibn Kathir. (2003) Tafsir Ibn Kathir (Abridged) (2nd ed. July 2003) (Vol. 1). Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, Darussalam.
[9] Musnad Ahmad 2:495u
[10] Fath Al-Bari 1:258
[11] Ibn Kathir. (2003) Tafsir Ibn Kathir (Abridged) (2nd ed. July 2003) (Vol. 1). Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, Darussalam.
Ian C. Calderwood:
Newcastle, NSW. 26 January 2022
RESTORED at Lakemba, NSW 2195. 30 October 22.
PUBLISHING HISTORY